stop beating this horse

You know what’s awesome? The fact that someone comes to my house every week in a big truck and takes away my garbage. It may seem simple, but that kicks ass. Really, I mean sometimes I’m astounded at the sheer volume of trash two people can produce in a week’s time. It’s insane. It’s probably an American-way thing, but we throw out a lot of junk every day. So much so that my little city-given trash bin is usually overflowing by the appointed pickup day. How cool is it that if I don’t want something, I can push it out to the curb, have it taken away, and never have to think about or deal with it again. That is no small service. Whereas the night before I had six or seven bags overflowing with dirty, nasty, smelly waste – that next morning I have none. It’s gone from me forever, plowed into the earth to poison future generations. Yippee.

Had a whole entry written last night, switching to some “fresh” stuff instead.

I was thinking about the rough comments from “not important” on yesterday’s entry. In my response I said that they were “not entirely untrue,” and that’s partially right. The only thing that sorta bugged me about “not important’s” comments is that they say I am depressing. That’s crappy to me. I don’t want to be depressing, but I guess I can’t help what/how I write. Sometimes I know my amazing laziness and apathy comes through in my entries, but that’s a part of me I guess. I don’t mean it to be depressing, and to me one of the main points of these entries is to get laughs. But then again, that’s a main point to me most all of the time. That, and music, and holding Ben and Anthony’s hands. Didn’t mean to bum you out guys.

The part about my “fear of being exposed to something new” is not really true either, although I think there is some relevance to the statement. See, I don’t consider myself to be “afraid” of doing new things. On the contrary I feel like I welcome new things, because I horde and collect experiences.

However, I think what “not important” was trying to say is partially right. When I get comfortable somewhere, or in doing something, I stick to it because it’s easy. Familiarity, comfort, and a sense of “knowing” are important to me and can act as proverbial “ruts” I suppose. When I do break that comfort zone it’s hard for me. So I tend to stay in it.

Now, I don’t think I do this any more than the normal person. I mean, isn’t it a natural tendency to want to stay where things are easy and you’re used to them? There wouldn’t be words like “comfort zone” and such if my feelings were so unique, right? I tend to do what I enjoy, and what I’m good at; hang out with those I most enjoy and talk to people who make me happy.

I’m not saying I’m not willing to break out of my mold – because some part of me actually prizes forcing myself to operate out of that comfort zone. Mostly because once I’ve risen to a challenge like that and overcome it, that previously uncomfortable thing is now comfortable? or at least not as uncomfortable.

Again, I think this is more “human nature” than anything. People do things they like, and avoid things they don’t. I’m sure way back, a caveman stuck his had in a fire and decided he didn’t like it. Probably kept his hand out of the fire from then on too. (Lord I sound like my dad… what’s happening?!) Really though, it breaks down almost that simply in my head.

In addition, sometimes people try things they don’t like – and find they’re not actually that bad. Sometimes they even realize that they actually kinda like them after all. I guess some things will probably stay forever uncomfortable, but I like to think of myself as quite adaptable? in the general sense at least.

I guess it comes down to: Above all, I do things that make me happy. I do things that I enjoy, repeatedly. Self-motivated yes, but when I’m happy? I’m happy. And I like being happy. So I do things that make me happy, and like them. It’s an over-simplified statement – but I don’t like doing things I don’t like doing. And I’ve said that before.

When something is undesirable to me, I stop doing it. When something makes me uncomfortable, I get away from it. Easy enough. I don’t think that defines me as much as it defines common sense. Fire bad! I guess you could say I’m much more reactive than proactive when it comes to dealing with stuff, but I’ve said this all before.. so I’m not going to write it all again.

So I’ll stop beating this horse. I just wanted to say my piece, which is shockingly personal on re-reading. I hesitate to post it, but it’s good stuff regardless if it’s in response to vitriol or not.

Like it or leave it, Dave out.

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Also written on this day...

• being satisfied by being - 2021
• oh but i was young! - 2009
• of snakes and snaking - 2008
• gators got that ramma-jamma - 2007
• a troll in the stork’s workshop - 2006