the uh-oh squad

Wow.  Four days and four entries.  Amazing.  Tons of media today.  Let’s go.

Oh before I get started, remember that health care thing I wrote about a few days ago?  If you’re old enough to remember 1993, the year the GOP put forward their own health care overhaul legislation, you might find this link interesting.  It compares the major provisions of the GOP’s 1993 bill to the recently passed “Obamacare” bill (and the Republicans’ 2010 counter to Obamacare, just for completeness).  For such a small amount of consolidated data, I found it pretty enlightening.

Work this week saw me delivering annual reviews to the troops.  Even though it’s not inherently negative in nature, the whole “performance review”  thing is a downer in general.  People always want more than you’re able to give, whether they truly deserve it or just feel like they do… and you’re never able to do as much good as you’d ultimately like to.  It’s no fun being the guy that makes people feel like crap.  Tuesday was the day for me and it was a long one.  I called a fellow manager around 4:30pm, after delivering my last review, and said simply, “I’m done.  Meet me at the bar.”

Although I’m not done… still another few to go for remote folks or those traveling or whatever.  Bringin’ me down man, bringin’ me way down.  I’ll be glad when time heals the wounds and we can get back to execution.

Speaking of getting back to execution, here we go.

The other day Keaton was in her bedroom for “quiet time” – we don’t get naps anymore but she still gets an hour to hour-and-a-half of “quiet time” in the afternoon – and she was being anything but quiet.  She was back there singing to herself.  Now while this is a violation of quiet time rules, I had to let it got for a little bit so I could sneak up to the door and surreptitiously record her with my phone.  Have yourself a listen:


Keaton at “quiet time”
(direct link for those on mobile devices without Flash)

Funny thing about the radio call-phrase she mimics at the end there.  “The Fish” is a local christian radio station.  I hardly think they were playing the Black Eyed Peas or a song about being “a little drunk” at 2am and needing someone.

At work they have this new program where they offer you cash incentives to do some “health and wellness” stuff.  They’ll draw your blood and run your numbers and you fill out surveys about how often you poop and how many beers you drink each week.  Then you meet with a “health coach” and they tell you to go to the gym and eat less bacon.

Now, I know this sounds all 1984 and whatnot, and I’m sure they’re just using the data to bucket me into some “risk bracket” to determine the optimal time to let me go (i.e. before I kick the bucket per their statistical “when’s he gonna die” model).  Anyway, I didn’t come here to write about that (although I’m apparently sacrificing a full entry).  I came to write about sitting in the waiting room.

While I was sitting in the waiting room (my health coach needs a punctuality coach) I picked up a book to try and pass some time.  The book was called 301 Ways to Have Fun at Work.  Being a manager and all, I figured I might actually learn something I could apply at work.  Oh man was I wrong.  The foolishness of this book was indescribable.  If anyone, ever, anywhere did this stuff at work…  And when I got to this page, I just had to take a picture since no one would actually believe me:

If someone brought me this idea in all seriousness, I would try my hardest to fire them.  Fire.


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