like a big girl

I guess it feels like dinner is so late because I’ve been home from work since around 3 o’clock today.

Yeah, I managed to sneak out and dial-in from the couch for the last couple hours (the boss was out the door just in front of me, and no doubt those who work for me continued the domino).  So, even though it’s only 7 o’clock now, the smell of the roast Sharaun’s got in the crock pot is making me feel like I’ve not eaten in days.  (Trust me, that’s not true at all… just today at lunch I had a burrito that I’m still surprised fit entirely into my insides.)

I gave up on TV hours earlier, switching on the holiday music channel on the satellite instead (I don’t have XM anymore, as I downgraded my TV package to the most basic levels allowed in some strange media protest slash money-saving scheme).  I took the time as an oppotunity to read the new Newsweek that came today… but sometimes news just ain’t where it’s at.  So, bored with that, I instead had a tickle-fight with Keaton.  That can always make a guy smile.

Lately, Keaton’s been coming into our room partway through the night and trying to get into bed with us.  Most times she’s successful, as either Sharaun or I will hoist her up by her armpits and nestle her in between us.  Some times, however, she doesn’t manage to wake either of us.  In these instances, she doesn’t simply give up and return to the comfort of her own bed… she just makes her own little bed right there on the floor next to ours.  No blankets; no pillow; no nothing.

In the middle of the night last week I woke up to find one of Keaton’s baby dolls next to me in bed.  Thinking it odd, and not remembering a baby doll in bed with me at the beginning of the night, I decided to think about it a bit.  “How on earth did Phoenix get here in bed with me?,” I pondered.  I sat up to get my brain working a bit better, and happened to look down.  There, huddled in on herself in a fetal position, was Keaton.  Sleeping on the carpet about two feet below me.

I got out of bed and scooped her up, rousing her a bit.  “Keaton, how long have you been here?,” I asked her, sliding her cold little body under the comforter in our bed.  She mumbled something, but not an answer.  Then, as I took my place next to her, she lifted her head and asked me in her little sleepy voice, “But Dad, did you feel me touch your arm?”  “No baby, no I didn’t.”  Awwww man, I felt bad: Here she had tried to wake me, wanting to join us in our bed, and I hadn’t responded.  So, like a faithful dog, she simply curled up as close next to me as she could.  (Is it wrong to compare your daughter to a dog?)

Anyway, I felt bad.  But, I know that, in the long run, we have stop letting her into bed with us.  I have to admit it’s hard to do, I really like knowing she’s there next to me – sometimes she even puts her little hand on my arm or shoulder, or cuddles her head up to my face.   Alas, as much as I like her being there with us – I don’t want it to become an every night thing.  So, Sharaun and I agreed this morning to take a harder line next time she toddles in clutching Laka or Claudia or Emilia… time to go back to your own bed, like a big girl.

Wish us luck.  Goodnight.

Also written on this day...

• this thing on? - 2006
• not-so-better - 2003