I got my 30-nights-stay “thank you” letter from the hotel last night; one entire month of my 2005 was spent at this hotel. They gave me three-thousand Taiwan dollars worth of free food or beer or whatever. Yeah, just what I need: “free” beer. For the first time on this trip, I’m simply sitting in my room doing nothing. So I decided I’d try and at least get one proper entry done before my regulars bail on me.

I did write this week, despite what the calendar shows. I started and never finished an entry a day, on average. As proof (for some reason), here’s a potpourri of unfinished stuff from this past week, at least it’s better than nothing:

3000 miles into the trip and I’ve exhausted the visual media I borrowed from the internet for the flight. That internet, he’s a great guy, loaned me the Family Guy movie and Fox screener of the O.C.’s season-opener for the flight. With both consumed and enjoyed, I’m at the point where I type for a bit and listen to music, at least, until I get tired of typing and decide to nap. On a plus note, I’m listening to this extremely 60s-tinged Field Music album, which is quite enjoyable. Reminding me a bit of the Shins, and strangely like a less-prog Yes at times, I think; damn fine, whoever they sound like.

I already miss my wife, now-lonely as I fly and future-lonely over the prospect of two other long-distance trips before the year’s out: Shanghai in October and Bangalore in December. In some way, I hope both trips materialize, as I’ve never been to either place – and am particularly interested in seeing India. I suppose it’s better to get the traveling out of the way before Lil’ Chino comes, since I doubt I’ll want to be away for very long afterward. Meaning this year is my boon year for travel, as well as my travel swansong of sorts.

A shorter one:

Been no time to write y’all, no time.

Throat is scratchy from beer and cigarettes and belting out exaggerated versions of such karaoke standards as “House of the Rising Sun,” “Hotel California,” “Friends in Low Places,” and “The Final Countdown.”

An ambitious one with no hope of being completed:

Taiwan, the text-based adventure game version.

You are standing in the lobby of an opulent hotel. All around you, people in tuxedos are waiting to serve you, and all flat surfaces are made of marble. A man is happily polishing anything brass. To your left is the concierge desk. To your right, a staircase. In front of you, a set of large glass doors, and two immaculately dressed doorman who are eagerly awaiting the opportunity open them for you.


You are standing at the foot of a staircase which is, of course, made entirely of marble. The staircase winds around and around upward and out of sight. Above you, hear can hear the faint strains of piano and laughter.

>climb staircase

You begin up the winding stair. As you crest the top, ahead of you is a dimly lit open room. It’s hard to see from here, but it appears to be a bar, and you can now better make out the sound of clinking glass and conversation.


You can’t shit here.


There is no one here to damn.

>go to bar

You walk toward the BAR. The floor opens up to your right, looking down on the lobby where you stood moments below, a large crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling. As you come to the entrance of the bar, you can now make out couples hunched over drinks and shelves of bottles on the wall. There is a sign at the entrance to the bar.

>read sign

“Henry’s Bar, Sherwood Hotel, Taipei.”

>eat sign

You cannot eat the sign.

>make knuckle-babies.

Does not compute.

>enter bar

You walk inside. The friendly staff immediately recognizes you for the VIP pimp you are, and ushers you to a seat at the large marble bar.

>check pockets

You rifle through your POCKETS. You find a wallet with several thousand dollars of local currency, a room key, and a cellphone.

And, I have no earthly idea what this one is or when this week I wrote it – but it was in my drafts folder and made me laugh so hard when reading it, I had to post it:

World population growth rate in light of human and technological development making life much safer than living in caves and dealing with your food not wanting to die so you can eat.

Bought a fake watch this time in Taipei. Lots of people do it, and I guess I caved to the pressure. Somehow, I either lost or forgot to bring my watch on this trip. I never realized how much I looked at the thing until it wasn’t on my wrist all the time. It’s a fake TAG, which the fake-watch man told me retails for like $2500 if it’s real; I paid $70. At least I got a new watch, even if it does scream “pompus brand-whore” quietly from my undeserving wrist.

What an ugly entry. Goodnight.

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