As a “blogger,” I think I’m supposed to have a huge list of other blogs I read frequently. I didn’t read this anywhere or anything, it’s just something I’ve noticed about other “blog” sites on the internet. They all have links to another ten or fifteen blogs, and they all cross-link and refer to each other. Not me, I don’t read any blogs. I wonder if that makes me some kinda blog-snob elitist or something? All I do is write and post, and then do it again the next day. Anyway, your blog sucks.
Whatever the impetus is, I’m in that state of writing again where I end up with pages and pages of backlogged, pre-written stuff. I have a Word doc filled with blocks of three and four paragraphs on certain subjects, and on any given day I cobble them together to make an entry. I actually like being in that situation, because I can essentially “take a day off” from writing, not that I don’t enjoy it. I mean, I love writing, or else I wouldn’t have this stupid website, but it is kinda nice to be able to just press “upload” and not have to think up new ideas. Thing is, when stuff keeps happening, I feel compelled to write about it – and then it becomes the entries, leaving the backlogged stuff to go stale. Maybe this week I’ll just work on “cleaning house.”
I’ve talked about daytime TV commercials before, but last Friday I was at home for lunch and I decided to try take it one step further. Usually when I go home for lunch, I check the TiVo and see if there’s something worthwhile watching while I eat my sandwich. Finding nothing this time, however, I decided to go with the default back-to-back hour of COPS that runs simultaneously on Fox and FX. Usually, if you time it right, you can pretty much avoid commercials by switching back and forth between the episodes. This time, however, the commercials were actually what I was interested in. I decided to document the contents of each commercial break during an hour of COPS on daytime TV, noon-to-one, what I would assume is the equivalent of prime-time for the daytime audience. Here’s what I found:
NFL Sunday on Fox promo ad
Personal injury attorney
Get a degree in criminal justice (stick with what you know?)
Cheap auto insurance (as low as $29 a month!)
Check ‘n’ Go (paycheck loans, not a scam at all)
Valtrex (genital herpes drug)
Gun show at the local expo this weekend (with a banjo music soundtrack)
1-800-DENTIST (“… good dental health may change your life! Maybe get a better job or even an exciting new relationship!”)
Quick & easy auto financing (even with bad credit!)
Public Service Announcement (eat 5-9 servings of colorful fruits and vegetables a day, because X% of the state’s population is overweight)
Cost-U-Less auto insurance
Kentucky Fried Chicken (extra-crispy meal deal, now with a half-gallon Pepsi “mega-jug”)
entucky Fried Chicken (new chicken breast salads)
Carmax (sell your car)
Carmax (buy a car)
Heald College (be a dental assistant)
Kaiser-Permanente affordable healthcare
X-Men video game
Advil Liqui-gels
ITT Technical Institute
Diabetes testing supplies by mail (I think it was the Quaker Oats guy, on horseback, in a canyon)
Hmm… you think that commercial lineup is in any way indicative of what the station sees as their target 12pm-1pm audience? I think, from the information above, we can do some detective work and construct a pretty good idea of the type of person Fox thinks is likely watching COPS during lunch. From my analysis, their target demo contains overweight, uneducated, out of work (probably due to injury), oft-arrested, herpes- and diabetes-afflicted, destitute yet money-lusting folks with poor credit and no insurance.
Did you guys know that Costco sells coffins? Kinda weird, right? Dave out.
Also written on this day...
- apples - 2010
- coffee and pizza - 2006
- a dusty lunch - 2003
The Lady of Guadalupe Casket is rad.