I feel better, in almost every regard, when my phone is not with me and I’m unable to compulsively pull it from my pocket to check it or waste my time staring at it, seeing nothing else around me.
I’m realizing the strength of the attachment I have to this device, how addicted I am to it, how much of my time and free-thought I allow it to rob me of. It’s not the device that’s evil, it’s me and the priority I give it, the time I sacrifice to it.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it yet. I talked to Sharaun and she gets too practical too fast: “So what are you willing to do about it? Nothing will change unless you do something different.” Will yeah, duh… it sounds easy when you make it all simple like that…
But, what am I willing to do about it?
I’ve found what works best for me is not having any access to the device. I’ve tried time limiting apps and Google’s built-in Wellbeing tools, but it’s the physical removal of the device from my goings-on that actually gets me back into reality – I need it gone, not just locked-down.
I want to get away from it in day increments. Never even once pick it up, sunrise to sunrise. That’s my intent. I love being able to be in instant communication with people, but waiting a day or two is fine.
Gotta fix this. Life is moving fast enough that I can’t give it any additional advantage by letting it slip by around me as I stare into a phone.
Goodnight then.
Also written on this day...
- sore loser - 2010
- inclusion - 2009
- time and money - 2004