It’s 10pm and, because we only have the one car at the moment, I couldn’t go to the gym tonight (Sharaun had the vehicle for her volleyball game). So I stayed home and played with Keaton before I put her to bed. Then, I decided I’d write (I’m doing that now) before I’d read a little, finishing off the book I’m in (haven’t done that yet, but have a strict be-done-writing deadline of 10:30pm so I can). Let’s go.
Feeling guilty, maybe, tonight I took the house to task a bit. I focused on the kitchen and master bedroom, mostly because I think Keaton needs to be responsible for her bedroom and toy room (and this behavior needs to be taught and continually reinforced, but I digress). Most of the scattered mess is random half-unpacked suitcases stretching back to travels as musty and dusty as our Thanksgiving trip to Florida.
This time, I can blame that solely on Sharaun. Once she packs a suitcase, it’s pert near impossible to get her to unpack it again. I’d do it myself, and make one of my trademark “piles” of unsavory materials (a technique I learned from my Dad, I fear, where I stack various items I feel aren’t where they should be in some conspicuous place as a passive-aggressive message to any opponent of tidiness), but she’s forbidden me from doing so, claiming there are unwraped Christmas gifts for me still half-packed inside. So, they rot.
As I was putting Keaton to bed tonight, I found myself wishing once again that she was done with nighttime diapers. She’ll be four in February and she’s still can’t make it through the night without one (not technically true, but you get my meaning). All her friends her age are out of diapers for good, and most of them have been for a while now. We’ve tried all sorts of different things… but so far nothing has worked. She’s great during the waking hours, using the bathroom at will and as trained as you’d expect any almost four-year-old to be; it’s just overnight that gets her.
Sharaun has a theory that she’s just a super-sound sleeper. She’s come in after naps sometimes (no diapers at naps, if we even get a nap) to find her having peed multiple times and not even stirred. She swears she read somewhere that kids who are really hard sleepers often have a harder time recognizing the impulse to get up and use the potty; no idea how that explains not being able to learn to hold it… but that’s her theory. I don’t really know… she is a pretty deep sleeper, so maybe there’s something to it.
We’ve tried doing no diapers and just dealing with the daily cleanup, but we got tired of the added work after two weeks of nightly accidents (sometimes more than one per night, which isn’t easily managed with a limited amount of fresh bedding). We’ve tried a psychological approach, “You’re a big girl, right? Well big girls don’t use diapers at night.”
And, I must admit, I, at least, have even tried twisting the psychological approach by adding the element of shame, “None of your friends still use diapers at night. Not Jake, not Gracie, not Matthew; no one.” I know, I’m a bad dad… but I’m telling you, I’m tired of diapers. We’ve tried a graduated approach, using pull-ups as some kind of intermediary “Look! They’re almost underwear” fakeout. All to no avail.
The only thing we haven’t tried is the high-tech approach one of my buddies swears by, where you hook some loud wetness-sensing alarm thing into their underwear. When it picks up on the first molecule of liquid it apparently sounds a loud alarm, theoretically waking the child and helping them remember to use the bathroom instead.
I haven’t tied this because, #1 it sounds all crazy 1984 loony and #2 who the crap wants to be scared awake by an alarm in the middle of the night because they are peeing? Seems like that scenario is a setup for some kind of future therapy… or at least some kind of unwanted urination/loud-noise subconscious association. Really though, I’ve not tried it because it’s probably expensive and sounds like too much like shock therapy, literally.
So we soldier on, going through diapers at the pace of one-a-day. At this rate, we may actually have two kids in diapers come next July. Now that thought is bumming me out. What do you think? Maybe she’s just not ready. Still, I’d love for her to ditch the diapers…
Goodnight.
Also written on this day...
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- if Good Morning America is any indication - 2004
- a rock in my ear - 2003
have you tried waking her up at an interim period in the night, prior to bed-wetting and making her go potty? if she sleeps so soundly she probably won’t even wake up fully, but it might help her to at least have some dry night successes to build upon or train her body to wake up on it’s own…also, maybe stop forcing her to chug the gallon of koolade before bed. that’s just mean.
Well, seems to me her daddy was very much like this. All I remember is the pediatrician telling me (after begging him for some solution) that he had never seen a child start kindergarten in diapers. Soo — hang in there, let her be, and she’ll catch on. If she’s anyting like her daddy, she’s being stubborn, knows exactly what you want her to do and doesn’t want to do it. It’s a control thing — and she’s got conrol right now. My suggestion would be just bascially ignore it and she’ll get bored with the game when she stops getting the attention. Good luck!
The mid-sleep wakeup sounds like an easy thing to try, Cynthia… I think we’ll give it a whirl.
Here, I’ll make you feel better! We have 4 kids (yes, on purpose:), and only one is completely out of diapers/pull-ups. We dropped $90 on diapers the other night, granted we are stocked up a little, but still, $90!
That being said, I think sharaun is right, sound sleepers have it rough, my 7 yr old sleeps like the dead. He can’t do anything about it right now accept wait it out. Just one more way to learn that patience is a virtue. At least that’s what I keep telling myself!
Hmmm… this does indeed make me feel a little better… but now I’m also scared that 1) Keaton may be in diapers for a lot longer and 2) I might have four kids. 🙂