threat level blue

Get it?
I think they heard my sigh of relief back in California this morning. It’s done. The presentation I spent weeks slaving over, sweating and raking fingers through my hair over, is, itself, over. And people, let me tell you that I feel great. My cramming paid off, my practice showed, and I came away from both sessions feeling great. And despite my good intentions last night, the beers I couldn’t seem to avoid didn’t seem to bother me at all. I am so glad it’s over – I’ve never been as wrung out over just a simple presentation… and I’ve done more than my share in the past. It’s just that I had precious little time to prepare, and knew it would effect my performance if I didn’t invest the proper amount. Luckily, I pulled it off. And now, with a great sense of relief – I’m done writing about it. In fact, I’m trying to be done with my writing-about-work streak… this should be it for a while. I want to get back to the regular stuff, the mundane stuff. Like…

What is it about dress slacks that makes them seemingly more prone to ass-smell? I mean, I’ll accept it as a given that any pair of pants, regardless of dressiness, will eventually inherit some ass-smell with repeated wearings. It’s a fact, something that is in that close a proximity to ass for an extended amount of time will of course begin to smell like ass. But, with dresspants, at least for me, the time it takes for the ass-smell to migrate from in-my-ass to in-the-fabric-of-my-pants is really reduced over “normal” type pants. Like this morning, I got dressed in my freshly laundered khaki slacks and headed down to my classroom to present bright and early at 8am. I presented until around 10:45pm, and then headed out to help a friend setup some equipment. As I was lifting heavy boxes and stuff, I got a whiff of something that smelled like ass. But, how could this be? I’ve only had the pants on for a mere four hours! How in the world can the ass smell be here already? But, it was. The ass smell was definitely there. I dunno, it must be something with the fabric. Or my ass. Or something. I really hope other people (dudes, I’m suspecting) experience pants-ass-smell, and that it’s not unique to me. I didn’t really think about that before writing this…

Now I’m sitting in my mile + 12 stories high hotel room, getting ready to take a nap.


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5 Replies to “threat level blue”

  1. maybe its time to re-evaluate the mummy-hand wiping technique. the rest of the world wipes without it and our asses dont smell. just a thought.

  2. This issue is unique to you as far as I know. Maybe all the stress associated with wearing dress pants means you are much more prone than normal to crapping yourself without realizing it, hence it seems sooner.

  3. Dude, I am doing a google search right now to see if anyone else is as annoyed as I am that when I dress up I sit around smelling burnt ass hair all day! Here is my theory: you take the dress pants to the dry cleaners, yes? I bet they don’t wash them as thoroughly as you & I do at home. Hence, the jeans we wear have been properly cleaned (no ass smell), but the slacks have not and the ass smell festers. I am going to try this tonight – I am going to wash a pair of dress pants in the washer using cold water, then take them to the cleaners to be pressed. I’ll report back next week. Until then, stay strong, brother, and wipe a dryer sheet all over your dress pants. It helps a little.

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