Category: halloween

The best holiday ever.

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gremlins


Halloween this year was ultimately frustrating. From the moment I got home, things went wrong. There were literally (literally!) a group of kids running around my yard a good 30min before dark, just projecting that Halloween anticipation.

And it was with that example of youthful expectation fresh in my mind that I set about getting things dialed in just right for the evening’s parade of candy-whores. First up, I had to fix the dangling blacklight that illuminates the crank ghost, as it had fallen (for the billionth time) off of it’s ceiling-mounted screws. While up on the ladder in the fading daylight, I noticed that the crank ghost herself had gotten wrapped up in her motor pretty badly – so I untangled the mess and set her straight. Next it was off to get the witch turned around to face her spotlight, as the wind had spun her around and had her facing the wall. A witch’s back is a lot less scary that her wart-nosed profile.

Next up, PicoBoo’s connection to my speaker was touchy and every once in a while would vibrate loose and emit an unbearably loud buzzing. Fixed that, and came back out to find the ghost – now working under motorized power – had spun herself right up into knots again, and with the motor driving, had completely bent her rotating puppet arm. Beyond repair, I unplugged the motor and settled for a static prop. Finally, after about the 3rd sortie of trick-or-treaters, the string controlling the ceiling dropper snapped right in two. I had no option but to clumsily break out the ladder and attempt to do nighttime repairs while the kids were forced to maneuver around me. After several minutes of cussing and swearing and sweating, I had a rough working fix that would have to suffice.

But despite all the drama and prop-fallout, things went off OK. Once again, we had a pitiful turnout, handing out candy to what I’d estimate was about 25 total trick-or-treaters, and that’s a generous accounting. So, the night itself was somewhat of an anticlimax… but I still enjoy the holiday. Moving on from Halloween then…

Lately, I’ve become quite enamored with the “Deep Tracks” channel on XM radio. I don’t pay for XM, but I get a pretty sizeable chunk of their offerings as some freebie piggyback on top of my DirecTV. My old buddy Kyle has been telling me now for two years that “satellite is the future of radio, Dave,” and maybe he’s right. Still though, I don’t want to pay for radio. And even though my “free” XM doesn’t come with anything as hip as Sirius’s “Left of Center,” I’m really into the unique tracks they seem to play on “Deep Cuts.” No, I wouldn’t pay for it – but to hear things like a Leon Russell cover of George Harrison’s “Beware of Darkness” is kinda refreshing.

Goodnight.

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buy her a lottery ticket


Happy Halloween friends! Welcome to another mundane Tuesday where, in real time, I’m likely already sitting at my desk lamenting the eight or so hours of work that lay before me. At least tomorrow I can, for a short time, escape the stupid humdrum of work and experience some happier times while scaring kids and giving out candy. Then, I take it all down… the motorized ghost, the coffin, the tombstones… I take it all down and store it away for another year. After that, I’ll focus on Thanksgiving and Christmas… because, after all, I guy has to have something to look forward to. Now then, let’s get around to this blogging business, shall we?

Keaton’s second tooth is just crowning, and I think it’s causing her to be a little cranky. She’s also spending a lot more time “scooting” around the floor and “raising up” onto her knees – like she’s showing us she’s almost there, teetering on the edge of mobility. I get so excited when I see her move herself around, but I also get kinda sad to think she’s changed so much from when we first met just a few months ago. I mean, we’ve not even had the pleasure of each other’s company for a year yet and she’s changed more than anyone I’ve ever known. She sits up, she ba-bas and ney-neys and ma-mas, she eats food… she’s too big.

Last week, mostly due to the furious preparation for our Halloween party, I forgot to mention to Sharaun that Jeff had told me he’d read in the paper that tickets for Justin Tenderlegs’ upcoming show here in town were going on sale this past Saturday morning. (Is that a run-on?,sure seem like a run-on…) Anyway, she’d been wondering, and had been checking daily online to ensure she wouldn’t miss the onsale. Well, she did miss it, like I said, because we were both preoccupied with party prep, and she was completely bummed. Now, for me, missing a Tenderlegs onsale wouldn’t sting at all, but for her it was a source of profound grief. The situation became worse when it was revealed I had know, and neglected to inform her, of the early morning post-party onsale. Moving forward though, she tuned into one of the local radio stations to see if they were giving away tickets; they were. About three hours later, she had, of course, won a pair by being the designated caller. This win brings her 2006 radio contest tally dangerously close to the-IRS-might-wanna-know earnings. Concerts, shopping sprees, iPods, Xboxes… you name it she’s won it. I don’t know quite how she does it, but I think it’s awesome.

Figured out my stereo-only-on-the-right-speaker thing tonight, turns out I’ve got a dodgy connection on the back of the TiVo. A little plug jiggling and all was well. All that for a loose connection. And to think, I almost went out and bought a brand new 60″ flatscreen because of it. Glad I didn’t, because the rear brakes on the Ford (the ones I didn’t ever change even though I’ve been planning to for weeks now since I changed the front) are making some God-awful scraping sound in both braking and non-braking situations. I have no idea what this is, but the sound tells me it’s not something good. I plan to at least change the brakes and see if that helps, but if not… who knows. And, now that that’s all over with…

Don’t forget to pop over to the Halloween costume contest leaderboard and see who’s ranking highest… If you’re not happy with the results, go and change ’em by casting your own vote.

Goodnight.

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now it’s now


Tuesday night, almost-finished-but-didn’t the final Halloween prop, I ended up missing a few minute but crucial bits and couldn’t leave the house as I was alone with Keaton. Tomorrow it is, then, for the finished product – time is ticking though, and I’m ready to have it done. Maybe I’ll come home tomorrow at lunch and finish it off. After working on, and quitting working on, the prop, I came inside and worked a bit on December’s “Best of 2006” post a little… then stopped to take a dump… and now it’s now. Sharaun’s busy fabricating our costumes for Friday’s soirée, and I should be working on making a replacement tombstone for the one that got jacked – but I’m not… I’m just not motivated. So instead I’m listening to music.

I absolutely loved this article (and the comments are particularly good too), the seafaring metaphors make for an entertaining read, and the meat is nice and meaty. Lamenting the many IED-pockmarks in Great Britain’s road to from March 19, 2003 to now in the Iraq war, the writer makes some interesting statements – including this one:

It is no small thing to find oneself on the wrong side of an argument when the debate is about the biggest disaster in British foreign policy since Suez; … no small … to have shackled our own good name to a doomed US presidency and crazed foreign-policy adventure that the next political generation in America will remember only with an embarrassed shudder.

Anyway… remember when we hastily invaded Iraq without international backing, the administration’s reasoning firmly based on the “overwhelming probability” of WMD (despite what revisionist history may say)? Fast-forward to now: North Korea most certainly has WMD, not one nation on Earth would question that. Remember the fear that the administration whipped up on the “likelihood” that Iraq might be producing and plotting to use WMD? Where is that fear for North Korea? Why is the nation not being whipped into a frenzy this time? (More stunningly, but slightly off-topic, why aren’t people taking note autonomously… must we wait to be told what to fear and who wears black?) We’re not seeing the same fear mongering because we can’t afford it. We’re completely committed to a theater of war that is now, without a doubt, a solid loss. We fucked up, fucked up big. Invaded a country on false pretense, blowing the horns of WMD and Democracy when we were really after a toehold in the Middle East and a more secure supply of oil. Oh sure, way back in 2003 this foreign policy may have seemed logical.

But oh, my friends, where we are now. Now – it’s crystal clear that Iraq, while it was no poster-child for human rights or fair government, was no imminent threat. But, while we were busy spreading ourselves thin and spilling blood for pure lies – the world was not idle. North Korea got the bomb, shadowy extremist networks like Al Qaeda mobilized and struck in far more sophisticated plots than we imagined them capable of. And all the while, we tore down a country that was, at its most threatening, a sticky situation for international diplomacy.

Anyway, the whole thing made me wonder, when I help Keaton memorize names and dates on flashcards for her 10th grade American history class, how this war will be memorialized in the books…

Anyway, we need to get off this war crap. The big ol’ Halloween party is in a mere two days, and things are pretty much ready. My mom and dad are coming down to spend a few days with us and Keaton, and are going to help out by babysitting the night of the fête (apparently English didn’t have enough synonyms for “party,” so we jacked a bunch from the French). I’m going to try to not get too ridiculously loose as the shindig, so Saturday won’t be a complete waste. Anyway, I have high hopes for what will be our fourth annual bash – and I’ll try and get some pictures of the costumed action up sometime early next week.

Goodnight lovers.

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what was in my yard


Before work this morning, as is my routine in these pre-Halloween weeks, I went outside to take the props off of “night” mode (which is a no-motor, high-light mode aimed at theft deterrent). Upon opening the door and stepping onto the porch this morning, however, I was shocked to see something foreign amongst the foam tombstones marking faux plots on my lawn.

My shocked sucking of breath made one of those airy whistling sounds as I instantly began shaking my head and exclaimed, “Oh… oh my God.” Sharaun, in the kitchen stirring the milk and Splenda into her first cup of morning coffee, must’ve heard me and immediately assumed we had once again been victims of Halloween thieves. “What now!?,” she bellowed from the kitchen, with just a hint of exasperation in her voice; after all, being robbed twice would tend to get a fella down. “You’ve got to come out here now,” I say, punctuating the sentence with giggles. Noting from my tone that this was likely no common robbery, she started towards the door. “Get the camera,” I requested, as I moved in for a closer look.

Once I realized what it was, staked there into my yard and towering above me by a good two feet, I immediately knew who’d done it. I left the thing up long enough only to appreciate its humor and take a couple pictures, then I immediately removed the installation and promptly took it inside. I told Sharaun to call my prime suspects, and in short order the whole thing was admitted. With the culprits outed, I arrived at work and was urged to check my pharaohweb.com e-mail. I did, and found a cryptic mail with a ZIP archive of pictures. And, if you follow the link below, you’ll be able to experience this whole thing much as I did – and you’ll understand exactly what I’m on about.

Click here to see what I found in my yard.

Top work, lads and ladies. I applaud you and am flattered by the effort.

Goodnight.

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halloween 2006: ceiling dropper


Note: This entry is part of my Halloween Projects category. You can see all of my posts documenting my projects by clicking the “Halloween Projects category” link above. You’ll also find images and movies of the projects and their construction in my Halloween Gallery, which can be accessed by links in these posts or directly here.

This year, when the UPS man delivered my PicoBoo. As I opened the package and started feeling my way around the small device, I suddenly realized that this thing has much more potential that activating my wolf prop, which can essentially be a “static loop” prop and require no activation. So, my mind started racing – thinking about a new prop… something complex enough to be worthy of PicoBoo-timed activation and sound, yet something simple enough to not break the Halloween bank. The idea came to me while I was sitting at my desk at work, I call it the Ceiling Dropper. Here’s the gist:

Concept:

In the entryway to my house, right before the door itself, I have two columns which attach to the roof. Immediately outside the door, the ceiling itself is recessed, but that recess is hidden when viewing the facade of the house while walking up. My idea involved “springing” something down from this recess as unsuspecting visitors approach the house. Imagine the mechanism as an upside-down version of last year’s coffin popper: a simple hinged torso which “pops” down from a hidden ceiling recess as a trick-or-treater approaches. Of course, the actual dropping would be accompanied by lights and sound for maximum scare effect. The whole drop-down/retract action will be accomplished with air power and a simple pulley, and the entire thing will be triggerable as desired (motion, pressure mat, or manual).

Trick-or-treater approaches the house, unaware a skeleton is about to swing down from the roof and attack them. The torso is attached to a hinged piece of PVC and suspended by a wire that’s attached to a reverse-action pneumatic cylinder (meaning air pulls the thing shut). The cylinder is kept powered (aired) and the prop is normally retracted and hidden in the recess. When activated, the solenoid will cut air and the cylinder will drop open (gravity and spring), snapping the prop into scare position. At the same time, the PicoBoo will activate the scare sound and targeted lighting.

Post-drop concept. Our trick-or-treater, having barely just recovered from the motion-triggered Coffin Popper, is now assaulted by our skeleton from above. Note the sheer terror on the innocent child’s face – this is what Halloween is all about.

The cylinder is attached to a bit of 2×4, which is in turn attached to the stucco/wood in the recess, and the wire is threaded through an eye hook and attached via a drilled hole into the hinged PVC swingarm. The hinge action is a simple PVC “smaller through bigger” hinge. I did a lot of measuring to decide what stroke length I needed for the cylinder, but the bore size needn’t be huge as we’ll only be lifting about ~15lbs. I wanted to leave a “safe” 7ft of ground clearance when the prop was fully deployed, so I wouldn’t have to worry about tall folks getting whacked in the noggin. This left me with about ~32in of prop length – which serendipitously worked out perfect for a typical adult torso.

For a “proof of concept” teaser, check out the teaser video here.

Implementation & Actuals

Coming soon, stay tuned.

Finished Effect

Coming soon, stay tuned.

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run over by the spinning wheel


Friends, I told you it would happen… eventually. I just didn’t think it would be so soon. Within two days of putting up all my lovingly crafted Halloween decorations and props, I got jacked. The thieves made of with my best homemade headstone, a 4ft tall one with the nondescript “R.I.P.” carved into it, as well as the $10 “skeleton” thing which was jutting from the earth at its foot. They also tried to steal last year’s crown jewel, the not-cheap-at-all to make “coffin popper.” In their efforts, they detached all the various air hoses and AC wiring to the coffin, and I’m assuming only left it when they realized it weighs well over 100lbs.

Let me just take this time to emphasize just how much I hate getting things stolen from me. For reasons (explained here in detail), being the victim of a pilferer evokes a deep-seeded feeling of violation in me. I get altogether furious and nervous as my brain starts instantly wishing I’d caught the sticky-fingered bastards in the act, I get put off thinking of these ill-willed punks slinking around my house touching my things and all right under my nose as I sleep. I curse the gonads these bandits must have to take the time to step onto my porch and unhook my air hoses, to trace wiring with their fingers to find a plug in the dark and unplug it (if only my extremely unsafe for outdoors 120V wiring would’ve shocked the dicks). I hate the brazenness I imagine them having, and a good bit of that hates stems from the fact that I know for a fact I once possessed the exact same brazenness when committing my teenage deeds.

In fact, this morning I found myself nearly simultaneously thinking, “What gives kids the idea that they can do this kinda thing?” and, “Oh… that’s right, I know exactly what gives them that idea…” Stupid me, getting karmic repayment for the evils of my own youth. And the worst part is, if I was the God of Paybacks sitting up on my cloud on high, stealing a tombstone would only be the tip of the iceberg for me. Sharaun suggested I make a list, like Earl, and start making right the transgressions of my past – and perhaps I’d be spared any more vandalism or theft. Yeah, I doubt it…

Anyway, as if I haven’t written enough about it now… I’m not going to lie, I wrote the preceding paragraphs in the early morning hours just after discovering I’d been jacked. Writing is my catharsis. I was so angry, even angrier at the thought of them actually making good on their attempts to liberate me of the coffin prop. Had I woken up to that missing, I think I may have cried – so much time and effort (not to mention money) went into it. Losing that coffin may have drained my Halloween spirit, I have so much pride wrapped up in those silly props… I’m not sure I’d even be motivated to finish this year’s… sick in my belly, sick in my belly…

Let’s move on though, I guy can only fester so long.

When I saw an article linked on MeFi the other day about “the death of cursive” (apparently, only 15% of kids wrote their 2006 SAT essays in cursive) and noticed it had a whopping 90 comments, I clicked to see what other people were saying. Before I read the comments, I took mental not of my own opinion: who cares, cursive is dumb anyway. Right then, turns out I wasn’t the only one who sees little need to defend cursive as an art. I was just talking about this the other day with friends, how I haven’t written in cursive since gradeshcool when I was actually learning to write in cursive. I print everything, even my signature is some flowing block print rather than script. Cursive… please… that’s what fonts are for.

Know who’s pretty? Girls.

Goodnight.

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champagne and scallops


Sorry for yesterday’s lack of words, it was just an uninspired evening. I had one paragraph and figured it wasn’t worth it. Right now, Sharaun’s out and Keaton’s asleep and the Halloween prop timer just kicked on and I’m sitting here listening to Muddy Watters (sometimes run-ons just feel right, y’know?). Now Skinny Puppy’s Addiction from the 12″ collection came on, what a track. It’s a good night. Oh, and, rain either got into the coffin popper’s wiring today, or the motions sensor is shot – because that thing just started flipping out tonight… turning off and on with such rapidity that the corpse looked like he was having a postmortem seizure. I had to disable the solenoid to the pneumatic cylinder, bummer.

I have a sneaking feeling I’ve espoused on this theme before, but I can’t be bothered to look for it among the previous entries – maybe this one will be better. I think it’s funny that we’re at the time now where the Lollapalooza set is starting to settle into their married lives and have children. My idea of what parents should be was, of course, shaped by my parents. And let me tell you, the parents of my generation are definitely removed from that breed. More and more of the parents I meet today have shaggy hair and ten-gauge hoop earrings and tattoos. These are “kids” in their mid-thirties who’re still holding onto bits and pieces of the fads that defined them as youth: grunge, hip-hop, etc. I think it’s hilarious to see a dual-childseat equipped minivan rolling down the road with the Cure or Front 242 drifting from the speakers.

I realize that my personal realization here is likely not unlike the realizations of the generations before me when they stopped and noticed: “Hey, I’m not young anymore… folks my age seem to be hemorrhaging babies, getting divorces, and not being able to sit on the floor without their ‘joints getting sore.'” I’m sure that there comes a point (right around thirty, I’d suspect) in most people’s lives when they realize that their age bracket has moved to the “next phase.” I’m just at that point, and my “age bracket” makes for an interesting menagerie of a parents and children. In fact, I bet when my parents became parents, it was hard for them to imagine a bunch of thirtysomethings in poodle skirts and saddle shoes chewing Blackjack gum and raising kids. Every generation must go through that shock of “we’re not kids anymore, we’re raising kids now.” (Have I restated the same thought enough times yet?)

Get ready geezers, shape up grandparents – we’re the new generation of families, we’re the new parents.

Booked tickets for our trip home for Florida for Christmas this morning, ended up going with United at a premium of about $150 so I could use my “class of service” upgrades and get the mileage. Sucks to pay a grand just to get home before we can even start spending money while there, but I guess it’s a lesson learned for me. Next year, I’ll be putting away a small amount each month in preparation. Anyway, I was able to use my languishing 100k upgrades to get us 1st class for the entire itinerary – which, I suppose, is some small comfort… and perhaps justifies the $150 adder. At least we’ll be flying in style, maxin’ and relaxin’ with champagne and scallops. Sigh… next up: Thanksgiving tickets. Good thing I’m stinking rich. Oh wait, I’m totally not… sigh x2.

Last night I was on one of the message boards I frequently lurk on (I’m a member of nothing, but a reader of a lot), and a well known boarder posted that he was going to commit suicide. Some boarders told him not to, lots cheered him on. I wonder if that guy was serious?

For some reason, the TiVo’s been missing more shows than usual lately (I suspect some mega-conflict with the sheer number of programs we’ve set to record). Sharaun realized it missed a show she likes, and exactly 12min later I had it downloaded and was playing it in perfect quality on the TV via the laptop. It’s times like that, when I’m “stealing” TV shows, that I really value the coolness of the internet. When I stayed in Taiwan for a month last year, I was able to watch any US TV show I wanted.

Goodnight.