I want to learn to be removed from decisions.
Take my brain out of it. Discernment by feeling, heeding some tug that I can’t convey in pros or cons or spreadsheets. To sway with the leaning of my body, bones and blood and bile, to resonate forward and to follow the pull of my heart.
And people will make fun of you because it’s not logical and it’s irrational and what are you thinking you stupid hippie.
And it’s scary because I don’t know how to do it and I don’t even really trust it in my brain, it’s just a feeling, after all.
Sometimes you climb and you climb and then you’re at the top and then of course to move forward you have to go back down again. But maybe it’s a bowl, a caldera, and it’s up again in any direction to keep moving forward.
So which up feels right?