You! Don’t fret!
These days, the ones where you work twelve or thirteen hours, these days are going to pay off. OK maybe not in dollars. Or maybe not in respect or position or stature, either. OK what then? Self-respect? Don’t think so. Personal satisfaction; yeah that’s got to be it. Some Eagle Scout sense of selfless fulfillment. Maybe if it was thirteen hours in a soup kitchen. Thirteen hours, a daily 1/100,000th of a hundredth of a dollar change in stock price. OK so yeah it’s not all toil and not a scrap of enjoyment. The chase; the race; the smugness of high performance.
More and more I want to steal some time back and writing gives me that. If I’m sitting here writing I’m not working or thinking about work. More: I’ve been wanting to write. I get home and I think about what I might write. I email one-line ideas to myself when I’m on the go. Motivation is a strange thing. Did you know that during the “break” this year, the one I may or may not still be on, I let the ten year anniversary of this blog pass silently by? Earlier in the year I had big plans for that September date… was going to do some big self-indulgent “look back” kind of feature… go all out. Alas, it came and went unnoticed whilst I wasn’t writing.
Like I said, thought to day about how I wanted to write tonight; wrote tonight. To me that’s good.
We’re off, traveling again for weeks running, this weekend. Away from work for a while. Look for me.