saying “i love you”

Hey Mom.  Hey Dad.

Hey… what’s up?  How you guys doing?  Uh…

I’m sorry I don’t say “I love you” when we’re ending our phone conversations.

I have no real idea why I don’t, and almost every time I hang up after talking to one of you I regret not bidding you a more meaningful farewell.  Sometimes, when I’m saying whatever I do say, which is usually something like, “Well, just wanted to call and see how you’re doing… talk to you later,” the absence of the “I love you” seems glaring and awkward.  It bothers me that this doesn’t come naturally to me, that it sounds strange when I say it in soliloquy.

Once, when we were visiting you guys, I’m pretty sure I heard you say, “I love you too,” when you were getting off the phone with John.  Ever since then I’ve been disappointed with myself because apparently my little brother can manage to say, “I love you,” but I can’t.  I hear Sharaun tell her dad, “Love you daddy,” as they end a conversation, same with her mom.  And then I go and say something like, Take care.”  What a cop-out.

So starting now I’m going to begin telling you I love you.  At the end of phone calls, when we part ways on the sidewalk outside the airport, after Thanksgiving dinner… I want to be like a normal kid who says normal things like that to his parents.

Do me a favor and don’t make fun of me when I do it for the first time, OK?  It may actually be fairly difficult for me to break the habit of not saying it; tough getting around the strange awkward feeling I have as I begin to after having not for so long.

Talk to you later; take care.


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