Good evening internet.
Sunday morning Sharaun and I got in a disagreement about our new wood floors. For those not up-to-speed, we’re in the process of doing hardwood floors (well, we haven’t started yet, but should soon… depending on when the material gets here). In her opinion, we should wait until after our large, often raucous Halloween party to put down the new flooring. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter and I’d rather do it sooner versus later.
Now, I realize that, looking at it plainly, my point of view may seem daft and that there seems to be a fair amount of logic to her argument. I mean, why put down beautiful brand new flooring right before you invite a hundred people into your house to stomp drunkenly around on it? Why risk this kind of ruin so early after getting it? Makes sense right? Wrong! To illustrate how my mind works and why I disagree, I’ll tell a story.
The very day we bought our new car we were headed out of town to stay the weekend with friends in Tahoe. As we were in a huge rush, we needed to do a quick lunch. As the driver, I suggested we swing through a fast food drive-up window and do a road lunch on the way up into the mountains. Sharaun looked at me askew, “You really want to eat in the new car on the first day we own it, and let Keaton eat in it too?” “Well, I figure we have a decision to make,” I replied, “Are we ever going to eat in this car, or let Keaton eat in this car? And, if we are, then why wait? I bought a new car to use, not preserve.” OK, so I paraphrased my actual statement, partially because I don’t remember it word-for-word and partially to make it sound better, but you get the gist.
To my wife’s flooring argument, I see it as at best simply delaying a certain eventuality. To me, it all boils down to a simple question: Are we ever going to have people over at our house in a situation where there could be a risk that our floor will be damaged, or do these new floors mean a moratorium on entertaining? If, at some conceivable point in the future, a week from now or a year from now, we’ll be willing to put our floor at risk – why ever strive avoid it?
Is it just to have something “nice” and “pristine” even if for a little while? To enjoy the fleeting unmarred newness while it lasts? If so, that makes about as much sense to me as putting a brand new pair of shoes on the shelf for a month before wearing them. Ahh… but I can hear the females flocking to support my wife’s position now, offering up tricky counter-arguments like, “It’s not like that at all! It’s more like buying new shoes and not ruining them by running a marathon in them on day-one.” (Please imagine that read in a nagging, high pitch, holier-than-thou voice.) Women are crafty, and they stick together, so I could totally see myself facing that retort from my wife’s estrogen-sharing sympathizers.
But c’mon ladies… it’s not really like that at all! It’s simple utilitarianism: A floor is meant to be walked on, is it not? And, if we’re not willing to let people walk on it, even en masse, then why are we getting it? Furthermore, if by getting this floor I’m now going to be expected to act as if it were constructed of eggshells, I’d rather not get new flooring at all. See friends, cold, hard, logic.
When I buy a lightbulb, I immediately begin contributing to its eventual death by plugging it in; when I new clothes, I wear and wash them right away. Thing are made to be used, so says me.
Unfortunately, my wife sees no logic in my logic.