So yeah… long time no talk.
Sorry about that. I guess things were busy last week; or, maybe I wasn’t in the mood; or, maybe nothing happened; maybe a mixed bag of reasons. I mean, I’ve known for a while know the once-a-day thing has been broken. I took down the calendar I used to display on the sidebar because it looked like a mouth full of rotted teeth, spotty writing here and there represented by a hyperlinked day. Don’t think me down and out, just go back and read something old… or something else altogether. I promise I’ll be here for a while to come. So, let’s write for today.
The sun has been out lately, and, somewhat unbelievably, although we’re in January I note whiffs of warmer weather on the air. To be fair, a California January really isn’t all that cold to begin with, but I actually spent all Saturday outside at a large wake and the weather couldn’t have been better.
Lately I’ve really been considering getting a lawn service. Just basic stuff: mowing, fertilizing and some general landscaping and upkeep. I know, I can hardly believe I just wrote that.
Honestly, I’m split right down the middle on this. One part of me can hardly believe I’m seriously considering it. I guess because I often enjoy doing the work myself, and have had many a good morning working outside in the dirt. Add to that the fact that the work is not hard, and on the effort vs. reward line plot it’s got a great return on investment. Not to mention the fact that I feel totally bourgeois for even weighing the option, and wince at the imagined barbs my DIY friends would inevitably throw my way.
But, there’s a whole other part of me that feels like I’ve earned the money to buy back my time. And, if I had someone do the “little stuff,” the monotony, I could perhaps focus on the more fun bits of the activity: gardening, tending flowers, etc. (Oh, and yes, I trend more and more towards “old man” every day of my life lately.. “tending flowers”… sheesh.) Anyway, I really am thinking about paying someone to take care of my yard… even though it makes me feel just a little too participatory in our undocumented American caste system… I’ll let ya know.
Switching gears, I want to get all for-real up in your junk.
This weekend I went to the second funeral I’ve ever been to. I suppose you may think that odd, if you’ve been to a great many. Most those of age with me have, and do. I’ve just never had the opportunity; it wasn’t something I really regretted… was sort of glad actually. Not that people in and around my life haven’t left this orb, or that I just don’t “do” funerals, it’s just worked out that way.
The first funeral I ever attended was likely one of the saddest I’ll ever attend, and my heart still breaks for my friends every time I recall it. The service this weekend, however, a three hour roadtrip south of here, was a superb mixture of appropriate sadness, grief, and celebration of a life. Now, I might state that I’d never actually met the deceased, but rather know his son and went to show my support. After leaving that day, though, I felt like I really got a feel for the man’s character. What’s more, I gained a lot of appreciation for my buddy’s character, and a good glimpse at the genesis and catalyst behind who he is today.
Over the past year or so, loss has touched my circle of friends moreso than I can ever recall. I suppose this comes with getting older, and that the last thing I should count on as time marches is a slackening of that inevitable pace. It’s sobering, the thought that as we go on those who’ve already been where we are now are just arriving at that last platform. That the pain of loss has impacted those I love so frequently lately only makes me take note of how Sharaun and I have been spared this so long. My friends are losing parents, those pillars of their lives… I think you can see where I’m going.
Now, no sense fretting, no sense cowering, I’m just ruminating on the circle of it all a bit I suppose
Goodnight y’all… until the next time.