this thing on?
Hey there, anybody out there? Did I lose you?
Safe and sound in Florida, balmy weather and the smell of the sea in the air - and I'm completely smitten. I think, that the more Sharaun and I come here for "vacation," the more the once familiar sights, smells, and sounds of "home" become associated with some a sense of disconnected leisure. I'm happy about this, because I have this thought that, if I can get the notion of "Florida" associated with relaxation and lack of responsibilities and deadlines, it'll be a comforting place I can run to anytime - an escape. I'm actually loving being here, even if it's been just one day. I took a nap, read some of my book, and laughed with family and friends. What's more, I'm gonna make a concentrated effort to do little more than that for the remainder of the two weeks we have here.
I will write, I promise. I feel that itch again, but more now I feel the need to not write - to not do much of anything.
See you around.
bloggin’ ain’t easy
Trying to do a blog every day isn't easy, in fact it's sometimes a burden on my mind. If some after-work drinks go long, I might find my mind wandering, subtracting current time from midnight to gauge my closing window of writing time. I sometimes feel like one of those nutty dog people who leave perfectly fun goings-on to race home and let Fido out, getting itchy to head home and come up with something to post. I have actually caught myself thinking something like, "Oh man, another round of beers? Now I'm definitely not going to be able to write tonight." Usually though, the act of writing is enjoyable, despite the fact that I may have to actually "work" to get it done by taking time out or staying up late. You may have noticed, though, that over the past couple weeks I've missed at least one, and sometimes two, days a week.
This is uncharacteristic for me, but I know what's happening: Work is busy. Now, in and of itself, that's just another time-based challenge I have to work around. But lately, work is more than just "busy:" work is frustrating. My mood at the office has been one of a hundred loose-ends and not enough hands to tie them all off. I'm sure this is partly due to the fact that I'm looking forward desperately to our coming vacation in Florida, but it's also because the environment at work lately is filled with a kind of pointless urgency. I kind of "hurry up" feeling that ends with a largely unfulfilling "keep hurrying up" follow-on. Hopefully Christmas will knock me out of this slump...
To close randomly, I don't know if the FDA does "usability studies" or pre-release tests with products that are pending approval, but I'm about to make a phone call and see if I can get on some kind of list for this thing. O, what a wonderful tool to put in the hands of the hairy consumer.
Goodnight.
what’s with the ladder?
Friday night I had a great dream. I dreamed that some friends of mine had come over to take a look at the paver-stone porch I'd built (with help) in our backyard, as they were considering such a job themselves. As we all bent and stooped to inspect my work, I noticed a small hole near the border of the stones, right were they end in a curve and give way to the grass. Looking more closely, I could see that, under the stone porch which I'd pieced together a stone at a time, there was a vast opening. Using the supernatural physics of the dream world, I poked my head in to get a better look.
Opening up before me was an immense white room, its cavernous emptiness broken up only by sparsely-placed alabaster white columns reaching up some 20-30ft at spots to support a ceiling of, you guessed it, pavers. Once in the room, the fact that the space was easily a thousand times greater than that of my porch above seemed to melt away (like facts often do in dreams, I guess). I couldn't take my eyes of the impossible canopy above me, the underside of my paver porch above looked much like it did topside, but down here seemed supported by nothing for long spans between the aforementioned columns. The whole thing was curved and warped, seemingly unable to stay together, but defiantly there nonetheless as undulating waves of tightly-woven bricks pitching up and down and left and right into the emptiness. I could see the sand I'd swept into the cracks to help "set" the bricks in place but knew that there should be no reason the structure should be able to support itself with such huge open spaces underneath.
Making the picture even more odd, at spots there were long "fingers" of assembled bricks, fitted tightly together with sand and arcing off from the roof to delve downward into the cavern. The fingers followed the warped curves of the brick ceiling above them for a bit, then got thinner and thinner until ending in a point. They, too, hung impossibly in the air above me, supported by nothing other than the point where they grew from the brick rooftop. I realized while looking at them that they were mistakes I'd made while laying the porch above, spindly brick tentacles showing where'd I'd gone off-course and later corrected myself.
As I walked around wondering how the whole thing hadn't yet caved in, I came upon a humongous bowl-shaped sagging which was supported at it's lowest point not by one of the white columns but instead a 10ft yellow ladder. It was the largest and most precarious dip I'd seen in the whole warped construction, and it looked to be held up as an afterthought with a ladder from someone's garage. I remember thinking of how often I'd walked on the porch above with Keaton, and thinking we could never do it again for fear it might crumble beneath us and send us flying to the white floor so far below.
Interpret. Goodnight.
constructive criticism
Busy busy hump day for me, lots to think about lots to do. Now I'm sitting at home blogging while Sharaun watches the M-TV and complains that, somehow, I've made the whole couch smell "like a giant fart." I don't know how that's possible, maybe she's mistaken the reeking foulness of this hip-hop shite on the tube for something else. Blech, will popular "urban" music ever be able to recover from the worn-out self-masturbatory mantra of sex and money?
Well, the bipartisan Iraq Study Group released its much-anticipated report today. You can read the entire thing here, if you'd like - but why do that when you can read my very own "best of" picks from the document right here? So sit back, and let me do the reading for you (or, take some initiative and read it yourself... it's 160 pages long, but the text only covers about 30% of each page and there's lots of fluff). Be warned, I didn't really try to pick all negative bits... it's just that the report is largely gloomy and there's not much positive other than hopeful recommendations that the administration will act according to its recommendations.
On the current situation in Iraq:
The situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorating. There is no path that can guarantee success, but the prospects can be improved.
The situation in Baghdad and several provinces is dire. Saddam Hussein has been removed from power and the Iraqi people have a democratically elected government that is broadly representative of Iraq’s population, yet the government is not adequately advancing national reconciliation, providing basic security, or delivering essential services. The level of violence is high and growing. There is great suffering, and the daily lives of many Iraqis show little or no improvement. Pessimism is pervasive.
On the current level of investment and cost of war:
The United States has made a massive commitment to the future of Iraq in both blood and treasure. As of December 2006, nearly 2,900 Americans have lost their lives serving in Iraq. Another 21,000 Americans have been wounded, many severely.
To date, the United States has spent roughly $400 billion on the Iraq War, and costs are running about $8 billion per month. In addition, the United States must expect significant “tail costs” to come. Caring for veterans and replacing lost equipment will run into the hundreds of billions of dollars. Estimates run as high as $2 trillion for the final cost of the U.S. involvement in Iraq.
On the consequences if the current direction is not changed:
If the situation in Iraq continues to deteriorate, the consequences could be severe for Iraq, the United States, the region, and the world.
A slide toward chaos could trigger the collapse of Iraq’s government and a humanitarian catastrophe. Neighboring countries could intervene. Sunni-Shia clashes could spread. Al Qaeda could win a propaganda victory and expand its base of operations. The global standing of the United States could be diminished. Americans could become more polarized.
Despite a massive effort, stability in Iraq remains elusive and the situation is deteriorating.
On "staying the course":
Current U.S. policy is not working, as the level of violence in Iraq is rising and the government is not advancing national reconciliation. Making no changes in policy would simply delay the day of reckoning at a high cost. Nearly 100 Americans are dying every month. The United States is spending $2 billion a week. Our ability to respond to other international crises is constrained. A majority of the American people are soured on the war. This level of expense is not sustainable over an extended period, especially when progress is not being made. The longer the United States remains in Iraq without progress, the more resentment will grow among Iraqis who believe they are subjects of a repressive American occupation.
Summary of the Study Group's recommendations:
Our most important recommendations call for new and enhanced diplomatic and political efforts in Iraq and the region, and a change in the primary mission of U.S. forces in Iraq that will enable the United States to begin to move its combat forces out of Iraq responsibly. We believe that these two recommendations are equally important and reinforce one another. If they are effectively implemented, and if the Iraqi government moves forward with national reconciliation, Iraqis will have an opportunity for a better future, terrorism will be dealt a blow, stability will be enhanced in an important part of the world, and America’s credibility, interests, and values will be protected.
The behest:
The ability of the United States to shape outcomes is diminishing. Time is running out.
If you read the whole thing, you'll notice I pulled some quotes "cafeteria style" from different portions of the document, but don't get it twisted... I'm not misrepresenting the spirit of the thing. How much must it suck for the president to read this thing, for him to be briefed on it... talk about "constructive criticism."
Goodnight.
is it butt-doctor time?
Traffic is on XM as I sit here and write. Half-past 7pm now and I just wrapped up sending some late e-mails for work, trying desperately to get a handle some things which've been consuming me of late. This week has been a good one at work, one of those ones where I get to use my brain to dream up what-if type stuff and go figure it out. I like that kind of stuff. I find, interestingly enough, that I get my best thoughts and ideas after I've removed myself from work-proper and have a chance to reassess a situation mentally with the benefit of some brain downtime. For instance, I regularly plan out e-mails or courses of action while showering in the morning or brushing my teeth at night. Tonight, a doozy hit me on the drive home from work. What am I even talking about? Let's get on with it...
This about-to-be-thirty thing is an odd beast. I've never been one to spend a lot of time thinking about age, my brithdays generally pass without much fanfare or rumination on my part. This year, though, I've been surprised how much pause I've taken to consider my three-decade milestone. Not a lamenting or dreadful kind of pause, just a different line of thought than normally accompanies each passing year. I suppose it's because, although it's really quite arbitrary, there is some recognized "milestone" a big birthdays like this. For me, it's less about "woe is me, I'm going to be old" and more about looking back or taking stock. And, since part of "taking stock" is doing those little "how'm I doing" self-evaluations, my mind also turns to those arbitrary life "checkpoints" that everyone keeps track of in their heads. Married? Job? Kids? Check, check check.
This year, however, also seems to come with some degree of self-judging on standards which are newer to me. Things like how healthy I am, and how well I take care of myself. I haven't really been more than superficially concerned with things of this nature before, as evidenced, I'm sure, by my portly frame and general yen for excess. Turning thirty, which, if I'm lucky, isn't even a third of my existence, and having Keaton, I'm starting to think about things like my own longevity and its effect on those around me. I'd hate, for instance, to have to leave this sphere for nothing more than too many Double Whoppers and too few jogs round the track. Now, don't think I'm going all reality-TV on you here or anything, words are one thing - but changing a lifestyle, that takes work y'all. I will, however, seriously consider shaping up when I hit forty - promise.
C'mon board the animal train, c'mon everyone. Learning about animals, is really lots of fun! Colors, sizes, what they say, if they're fast or slow. Learning about animals, there's so much to know! Toot! Toot! -Christmas with a baby.
Goodnight.
concussed
Man the moon is big and full tonight, like it's right up there in the sky in our backyard. Sometimes I want to sleep outside, like just on the ground in a sleeping bag or something. Not in my backyard, mind you, no that'd be dumb. I mean camping, or getting outside. Too cold now though, gonna have to wait until it's a little warmer.
Today at lunch, Sharaun and I got caught up talking about when Keaton grows up. We were watching a TiVo'd episode of America's Funniest Home Videos, which was showing clips of kids hurting themselves jumping their bikes off homemade ramps and landing on their asses while trying to jump curbs on skateboards. It got me thinking about when I was a kid, and how my brother and I used to pull my mom and dad outside into the front yard to watch us careen our own bikes down the sidewalk and off a ramshackle ramp we'd assembled from bits of plywood and bricks. It's not like we were jumping over a pit of alligators or anything, just launching no more than a foot into the air for a split second, but we had our share of mishaps: ramps flattening mid-ascent, botched landings, and broken bikes - all which ended up in scrapes and bruises. All this before it was "vogue" to outfit your children in pads like linebackers, too.
As a parent now, I know there'll be a day when Keaton wants me to watch her do a cherry drop off the high bars on the playground (that's if schools even accept the liability of high bars anymore). The day will come when she wants me to watch her rollerskate down the driveway, or ride her bike while clapping her hands. And, as a source of validation, I'll be expected to beam with approval and pride while stifling my fear of broken bones and skinned knees. I bet this is hard, although it must get easier as your child grows older. Sure makes me look a little differently at all the stupid stuff my parents used to watch us do when we were young though...
The bloggers-collective are slowly starting to scribe out their 2006 "best of" lists, and, as it happens, I spent a lot of time working on mine today and tonight. Today, running through the shortlist in my brain and re-listening to the albums on the iPod at work; tonight, writing up my thoughts, adding album artwork images to the post, tracking down and pasting in relevant links. It's coming together nicely, and I think I may even be ready to post before leaving for Florida (or, if I'm facing a slow week of writer's block). Look for it... if you're cool... that is.
Goodnight.
took a couple days off
Took a couple days off last week, had a couple evenings too packed with post-5pm work residuals and, more importantly, supping with friends. Lately I've been valuing our friends a lot, I think it has something to do with the ease at which our whole transition from childless-to-parents went with the clique. I love the little things about having a solid group of friends: hearing the unlocked front door open and wondering who's coming in, the comfort in being able to speak casually, passing Keaton around the room, and, of course, sharing food and drink. The communal meal seem to me like something that's been at the heart of human interaction from the beginning of time. Seriously, tho, we've got some great friends. Let's go.
Wasted some time Sunday morning trying to help figure out the latest in internet mystery vogue. I first saw it over at reddit, but apparently it made it's debut on some Russian website - where a psychiatry professor posted it as a problem for his students to solve. What is it? It's a painting, one which the professor says contains "sure signs" that the painter has a mental illness. The challenge to the students, and, by proxy, the the internet at-large once the word got out, was to identify the signs and illness. Here's the original version of the painting, from a Russian webboard - where the comments number into the multiple thousands. Leading theories suggest obsessive-compulsive disorder, agoraphobia, paranoia and depression. Problem is, the professor who posted it said he'd come back with the answers in a few days and has since dropped out of cyberspace. Take a look, thoughts? Anyway, I bet the thing will have been "solved" in the reddit comments by the time this post goes live anyway.
Sunday evening I made the near-final step in my CD-ripping project - tossing all the Beatles CDs I've verified as MP3s. It was a very hard thing for me to fill the recycling bin to the top with the fruits of my college obsession with Beatles bootleg collecting. Oh, I saved all my factory-pressed discs, as I have some very rare ones, but I pitched all the CD-R copies of albums (hundreds and hundreds) that I traded for over the course of six or so years. As I dumped the piles of discs into the bin, I saw certain ones go by that I could recall spending hours and hours on: crafting homemade artwork in Photoshop and paying money to print it on the laser color machine at Kinkos, printing and affixing cd label stickers, etc. Hard to throw it all away, but liberating in a sense too...
Updated Keaton's pictures today, like a good dad. Check 'em out.
Goodnight folks.
Recent Posts
- tomorrow will worry about itself
- walker!
- the wind is refreshing
- still sometimes call it “home”
- 10 without fanfare
Random Posts
Recent Comments
Kelli Melin: We just got back from two weeks at the ranch in MT and we long to figure...
cynerator: well? what happened? or is it still in there, kinda like that rock you...
Dave: This made me happy, and also sad. Favorite comment in a long time.
Aimee: You could take that RV trip as a teacher… and you’d even have two...
