Ever experience something that smacks you in the face and makes you realize how brilliantly lucky you are to have what you have, live how you live, and be as happy as you are? I had that this week. My permanent grin, fat belly and quiet complacence long-since taken for granted and damn-near expected, I was reminded in the most humbling of ways that my life, as I’ve made it thus far, is exceedingly better than many, many others’. When you get down to it, this is no revelation; but you know us meek, we never go about trumpeting our treasures. We don’t talk about it; don’t meet strangers and ramble on about our various successes. No, revelation it’s not; no not by a long shot. But I’ll be damned if those of among the blessed like to be reminded that there are others our there who aren’t happy at all. Those in dire straits, one step out of sync with our blissful fairy tales; suffering. No, it’s easier to ignore all that that nasty business – you end up with less guilt for feeling so awesome in comparison. So, troubled of the world: please hide yourself from my sight – for it makes my perfect life just a little easier. Thanks for understanding; hope your ship turns around.
Flew back in from Oregon with little fanfare, decided not to go into work despite having the afternoon available to do so and no real reason not to. Travel compensation, I’ll call it, when no one asks because no one cares. It’s an awesome sunny day out, but all I’ve managed to do with it thus far is lament over my lack of internet and waste time doing nothing. I did manage to muster a half-assed trip up the road to the local warehouse store, where I made a circuit of the impossibly wide aisles, shielding my eyes from the fluorescents, scouting the vast landscape for one of those pre-fab sheds they sometimes sell. My search impeded by stroller-laden stay-at-homes and big-TV-droolers, I gave up when there was no shed to be found. Somehow, the whole five minute waste of a trip was indicative of my mood this afternoon. Unmotivated; torn between doing and not doing; stuck in some limbo state between being constructive or being lazy; depressed for reasons that aren’t my own.
That’s all, but I like it. Goodnight.
Also written on this day...
- a mild itch - 2011
- so i think i might puke - 2009
- when i was bulletproof - 2006
- 300 babies - 2004
- fighting chance - 2003