judgement day
My dad's birthday was this past weekend. My cellphone even went off to remind me, and I snoozed it telling myself to send a card. But, alas, I missed it. That puts me at three missed-birthdays for my folks (two for mom, one for dad). And yeah, it really makes you feel like shit. Having spent years perfecting my avoidance strategy with respect to uncomfortable situations - I've yet to call my pops and wish him a happy belated. What kinda kid chronically forgets his folks' birthdays? One in his late-20s you say? Well yeah, that's what I'd like to think too. My negligence is a product of my self-centered age bracket... where my life hinges on my friends and my job. I swear dad, I knew it was your birthday, and I mean to send a card... I even went downstairs at work to pick one up. Who knows what happened. Put another tick in the "terrible son" column and go back to loving me unconditionally OK? Thanks.
Today I came home all motivated to put in another 6hrs of work, but as it turns out I fell asleep on the couch and am now writing instead. I think I'll get to some work tonight, but perhaps not quite as much as I did yesterday. Now, tomorrow evening at 5pm is my big pre-conference review meeting, where I get to debut my far-behind-schedule materials. I'm less concerned than I was previously, mainly because I've come to terms with the fact that it's just gonna be a photo-finish. I'm OK with that, I just hope I don't get torn up over it too much in the meeting.
Wait... no one wants to hear about this, right? What do you want to hear about instead? What's in-vogue with bloggers these days? Music?
So, the Desaparicidos were a one-off thing. As much as I loved that album, I can live with the fact that there'll never be another one. Sometimes it's better that way, like with the Unicorns' Who'll Cut Our Hair..., I don't think the could've followed up that record. But, even tho I'll never hear Connor with the Desa's again - this new album by Little Brazil works nicely as a stand-in. A little bouncier and less afraid to slow it down, but it elicits the same rockish excitement when I hear it. Vintage sounding, with catchy phrasing and hooks, I'm all about it. Check it out if you're not a pussy. Oh wow, I just read up on this band - and the bass player is the bass player from Desaparicidos! I swear, I didn't know that before writing this paragraph. He either plays a super distinctive bass (hard to do), or has a lot of creative influence on his bands.
Roughly three months to go and this website turns two. Two years of writing. That's a lot of writing. Some of it is good, some of it isn't. I like to use the "random entry" link on the sidebar on occasion, just to see what comes up. It's fun to remember writing certain things. I'm actually happy I'm still doing it, I couldn't really have known I'd keep up with it back when I started. Based on the page's statistics, I still don't have a very big readership, and even less of what I do have are what you'd call "regulars." But, I do see some IPs pop up pretty frequently - so thanks for sticking with me when I was boring, or when I was drunk, or whatever. I sometimes surprise myself by finding the time to write every day... but I'm glad I do it. Two years... man, that seems like forever. I tell you what, I'll keep writing if you promise to check back every now and then and keep reading, OK? Deal.
Stumbled across this the other day online, and I love it. What a cool idea. This is the kinda stuff I love the internet for.
Goodnight.
the crunch
There's not enough room on this Post-It note to write all the things I have to do. This is a problem. If there was room on my Post-It note of problems-to-be-solved, I could add it too the list. But, that's my week this week. I'm 100% balls-out on this work though... like now, it's 20-till-10pm and I'm still chuggin'. Sure, I took a 40min walk around the block with my wife to clear my mind (clear my staring-at-the-monitor headache, really), but other than that I've been working solid since 8am. It has to be done folks, this is crunch week and I just have to knuckle under if I want to have a successful month of presenting. Speaking of month, June won't be much of one... at least not one at home. Percentage-wise, I'll only be gone 23% of the month - but in my head it sure seems more inconvenient than that. On the upside, I've never been to New York City, and I think I may have been to Denver when I was a kid - but I sure don't remember anything about it. So, the travel may be cool...
If you can't tell, I'm slightly (and I do mean slightly, ever-so, ever-so slightly) less screwed-up about my presentation. My work-overdrive has made me feel a little more confident that I'll be prepared and ready to go. I still have guilt for not being on the "schedule," but when I'm this up against the wall I just don't care. If I get done the night before, I'll consider that "meeting the schedule," regardless of what the real schedule was. I just want it to be over... can it just be over? It's midnight now, and it's not over yet... But you know, I totally get off on being able to get serious when the conditions demand it... so this is as much ego-stroking as it is burning the candle at both ends. You mean you worked until midnight, downloaded the newest tunes for perusal tomorrow, and managed to pay bills, take a walk, and do dishes tonight? Yeah I did... and I didn't even have to take that much speed to make it happen, I'm just half-machine.
I've been feeling a bit pretentious at work lately, perhaps unjustifiably so. I mean, I feel like I'm working hard; really hard, in fact. And... I admit it: I feel important. However, I also see this is a risky way to feel. I don't think I lack humility, but I'm very wary of ever getting to that point. In some cases, I think I'm a bit over-conscious of being humble. I tend to shy away from conversations where I would come off as patting myself on the back, at least - I like to think I tend to shy away from them. To give you an example, I had to take a phone call on the way to lunch today - a work-related phone call. Sitting in the backseat, ignoring a carful of my friends, and talking shop on the phone - I felt bad. I felt like I was somehow "showing off." This is probably paranoia on my part, but my lack-of-love for self-important people makes me think like that. Problem is, taking charge and forging ahead actually requires some level of self-import. I guess what I'm worried about is crossing the seemingly thin line between self-confidence and ostentatiousness. I'm probably concerned over nothing, but it's just something I think about sometimes.
So that's it. Work all day, and blog about work. I'm truly one-track right now. Rock on.
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