Honestly guys, could my life get any sweeter? I mean, I just took stock a minute ago. Sometimes it’s good to take stock, y’know? I was walking down the street in San Francisco, a chill in the air. I’m headed to my hotel, coming from a fine meal at a trendy open-air Spanish restaurant where I dined with managers two levels above me. Managers who I took beer for beer, letting them digest my name, an awesome guy to hang out with. The guy that tells jokes, the guy that gets by on his personality. So we bustle down the streets, talking of important business. And that’s how I end up here, typing on my laptop in my executive level 43rd floor hotel room. Where I have free access to the “executive lounge” and my room has a 30ft wall of windows which offer up the most stunning view of the San Franciscan skyline I’ve ever seen. I sit in my huge room, watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force in my boxers, the lives of millions of San Franciscans playing out hundreds of feet below me. Honestly, I’m on top of the world right now – cold urticaria and all. Now if they only have bloody mary mix in the mini-bar. Seriously, if you could sit here in this room and look over the city lights with me, you’d jizz. It’s that freakin’ awesome.
Not only that, but things are going well. I’m once again making visual progress on the backyard, with the work on the porch to commence in a week or so. My presentations went great today, I have a penthouse suite and nothing to do, and I’m three beers into a good feeling. Aqua Teen Hunger Force is over and I managed to find a new episode of Reno 911. Maybe I’ll make some coffee, because, see, I can do that. Right now I can do whatever I want. If I want to go downstairs and go out, I can. If I want to stay right here and sleep until 2am then wake up and watch the city for hours, I can. Come to think of it, I am kinda tired. But just to refresh – I don’t have to go to sleep or anything, because I am king of this hotel room. Maybe I’ll take a bath, I don’t think I’ve done that in years. I mean, I bathe, just not in a “bath” is all.
Oh man, this coffee is terrible. It looks like tea it’s so weak, and it tastes like hot water with a dash of coffee flavor. Yuk, I really wanted some coffee too. Man, you guys know what I should do? I should totally order room service. Like, some dessert or something. You guys wanna see what they have? Yeah, let’s check it out (let’s is short for “let us,” which sounds wrong). Holy crap guys, I’m totally drunk with power. Want proof? I just ordered a platter of chicken wings with bleu cheese dressing and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream. Why did I do this? I’m not even hungry, I only did it because I can. That’s right, I’m not even hungry. I probably won’t even eat it all, and I might even throw it away if I get tired of looking at it. Because that’s the extravagant life I live. Heck, I may even wake up in the middle of the night and make these fools bring some damn shrimp cocktail up 43 floors to my door, I’m not paying for it. Biatch.
It’s not that I don’t have anything more to say, I could go on like this forever – but I don’t feel like writing anymore. And going with the theme of me doing whatever the heck I want, I’m done with this blog.