sounds familiar Musing on the present. Reminiscing about the past. Posturing for the future.

band together and masturbate on the enemy

Hey dudes, didja hear there's some video of US soldiers masturbating onto Iraqi prisoners? That's so cool. As a country, we should masturbate on more people I think. It just seems so logical and all. Oh, and we should take pictures of it. As Americans, we must band together and masturbate on the enemy - and don't forget to shout "You got served!" as you finish up in their eyes. Fucking Neanderthals.

Man, I remember how mortified I was when I learned we were expected to take showers in Junior High gym class. As if my sports-challenged former self didn't have enough problems, now I had to take showers with other dudes? Luckily, I wasn't the only one who had this fear. In the three years I was there, I don't think I ever saw one single dude take a shower in that locker room. And some dudes needed a shower too, come 8th grade you can get pretty ripe after 40min of flag football.

Looking back now, the social shower doesn't seem so strange. I mean, I've been in several same-sex communal showering situations since - and they don't bother me much anymore. I still, however, don't like those "rotary" urinal things. I mean, the trough urinal is bad enough - but a circular one where I'm peeing directly across from a bunch of other dudes peeing? No thanks. If you're gonna see my goods, it's gonna be because I had too much beer and am the sole participant in a game of "strip Dance Dance Revolution." Yeah, for real. With video too. I can never hold public office.

Dave out.

Also written on this day...

• flat tires - 2010
• l-l-l-look at my hater-blockers - 2008
• and there never was a hoss... - 2007